Do you believe that if you do something good it comes back? And I don’t mean it in a religious kind of way. I mean it in actually believing in famous what goes around comes around thing.
Well I think it’s just another bullshit we are fed our whole life just to feel obligated to help an old lady cross the street or to do chores for our parents. But you know what? ¾ of people you help don’t give a single f*ck about you. They just don’t f*cking care. And if you’re “lucky” enough, sooner or later, you will hear that you are selfish even if you don’t remember the last time you put yourself first.
Have any of those people ever asked what YOU need? How YOU feel? How much of yourself you’ve given up for them? How many f*cking nights you cried yourself to sleep because it was too much to handle? Did they even try to understand?
I’m not saying helping others is wrong. It’s great. It’s really amazing and so uncommon these days. All I’m saying is that obviously we want to help our loved ones but how much should we sacrifice? A week? A year? A life? Because sometimes once you start helping it’s like a circle and it’s almost impossible to break away from that circle without letting anyone down. And you don’t want to do it. No, you so don’t want to do it and you’re shit scared what might happen if for a single moment you let yourself think about your own happiness. But in the whole process you’re letting down the most important person – YOU.
Then all of a sudden, there’s nothing. You wonder how come you feel so unhappy when for the most of your life you’ve been everything but selfish? And it’s too late. You can’t turn back the time. Choices can’t be unmade. Yes, scars can be healed and yes, you CAN learn to live with regrets over all lost opportunities. But nothing can and will ever fill that empty space in your heart where your dreams once used to be.